Monday, 29 September 2008

For fear of being attacked: A blog.

Round 2.

I just deleted what I wrote cos I didn't like it, and quite frankly, my rare blogs have to be good (imho) or not posted. So, we start again, I think a list might stop me from rambling. I realised I ramble a lot..

1. Go read Matthew Borg's blog : it's funny and accurate 
2. Go check out ThistleAndBramble : Christian guy on YouTube that does covers (incl. hymns and non christian stuff) and, to use Sara's words, he's a looker :P
3. Found two new songs to like, thanks to the above:
4. I forgot xD

I spent some much needed time with kai today. But as per usual, she's sick :P I always say she gets
sick enough for the both of us put together xD. And last night I barely slept, I spent most of the
night trying to get Elaine to tell me something we both knew, to no avail.. so we ended up laughing,
singing songs I didn't think I even knew, and talking about sheets and cockroaches. We also realised
that we're always the last left up, laughing and joking xD everyone else is boring and sleeps at 
night! How could you?! :P

Umm.. I had some adventures this weekend too! Unfortunately I was alone, so no inside jokes came
of them, but it was funny anyway xD. I also realised the adventures of achie occur when travelling.
On the bus, walking... can't wait till Christmas - viva la snowboarding adventures! xD. Last time, it
included nearly falling off a mountain, slipping into soft snow and almost getting buried, and getting
one foot stuck in a hole in the ground :D And being woken up every morning by five cousins sitting 
on top of me... yay :P

Since my last blog, I've finished my room. And now I'm wondering if I'm going to stick anything up
again.. I'm thinking maybe some photos of friends, but I don't think I want to ruin the walls yet...
Taking that blue tac off was horrendously time-consuming. And it looked juvenile. Thoughts?
Also, since my last blog, my hair has gone back to brown (note: not black) and is long enough to be
pushed back by a hairband. Not sure where it's going to go from there, but hey, do I ever? xD

Very dull blog.. hmm...

Oh yes! This summer was definitely the best summer. I was doubting it at the beginning. I thought:
what's going to make this any more than an ordinary summer? Quite frankly, it wasn't the fact that
I had four months of it. Sure it helped, but its annoying after a while (trust me). What made it so,
was the fact that cliche as it may be, and as awkward to admit as it is, I spent it in the company of
the people who are *looks for the least cheesy word to say..* close? dear? *screw it* the people I
love. And I made friends with quite a few more, whom I have also grown to care about (: Actually,
I'm convinced it's a record amount of newbies to the list in one summer xD. Wait a minute, year.

*stunned moment of realisation* Dude.. is it me or is the book opening?

Thursday, 4 September 2008

The Maybe That Became A Yes.

Okay, so one person will understand the title xD muhahahah

Anyhow xD I was on the way home after Dr.Juice (aka Mr.Smoothie) and this song was playing on my (shuffled) iPod playlist thingymawob.

So anyhow. I hadn't heard it in a while, and had sort of forgotten about it, so it was almost as if i heard it for the first time again, this time knowing the lyrics. [Right, so maybe I'm not very good at comparisons] So I was paying a real load of attention to the lyrics, and I realised how much they applied to me. Totally cliche, I know, but I tried to be original by not saying "struck me" :P.
Point being, despite my supposed ability to speak English, I'm amazingly often stuck for the words I need to express myself or to make an idea make sense (like right now, for example, I'm convinced what I just said does not portray what I actually mean to tell you). 
[wiki def: Eloquence (from Latin eloquentia) is fluent, elegant or persuasive speaking in public. It is primarily the power of expressing strong emotions in striking and appropriate language, thereby producing conviction or persuasion. The term is also used for writing in a fluent style. ]
And in the song, the first line is:
I'm as eloquent as an elephant
Which sort of makes sense XD. I also have this habit of doing exactly what I'm told not to do. Let's take a random hypothetical exmple. Say, I'm getting dressed, and I can't decide between two pairs of shoes. No, shoes don't really make sense here. Two tops then. So, I can't decide between tops, so I call my mum and ask her which she would prefer. Let's say she tells me "the purple one, because the red one blablabla" so I say ok, as you do, and tell her thanks and she goes back to living her life. Meanwhile, I'm still in my room wondering which top to wear, and finally decide after calling in my sister and her telling me "the purple one, because the red one wooshawooshawoosha". I leave the house in the red one. I'm really headstrong. If I really want to do something, it'd take a lot of convincing to get me not to. [the argument i take most seriously is extreme safety risk. if its a small one, all the more exciting (; ] 
[wiki def: Headstrong: Determined to do as one pleases, and not as others want]
The second and third lines:
I'm as headstrong as the Mighty King Kong
On a rampage throwing air planes
Then, and here is the best part, the next line is what is so great about the song:
I can't believe You haven't gone away
Jesus is not fazed by the fact that I'm headstrong, disobedient and inexpressive. It's not what he cares about at all. What he sees in our hearts is the potential to change. He sees the love we are capable of giving, the future we are capable of having, and the things we are yet to discover that we can use to do His work.

On to the second paragraph xP [you're gna sleeeeep ladadidada xP]
I am difficult, argumentative
So yeah, obviously that's something you have to see for yourself, I can't tell you you're either of those. I, myself, am both xD. I can be very difficult if I'm having a bad day, or I'm in a bad/funny/weird mood. I do my best to be nice, but I do slip, often, and my cover just tears and you can see I'm not alright. And I don't think I need to tell you I'm argumentative :P
I'm as thick skulled as the dinosaur bones
on a display in a glass case
I can't say I know anyone who doesn't have moments when they take an age to understand something, and I'm pretty sure we all sometimes pretend to understand so as not to look stupid. The so-called blondes of our cliques are the bravest in my opinion, they're not shy to admit they can't understand. Like the chinese saying: He who asks is a fool for five minutes, he who doesn't is a fool for a lifetime.
[Webster's def: Having a thick skull; hence, dull; heavy; stupid; slow to learn.]
And again, that line:
I can't believe you haven't run away.

[[this is beginning to feel like a literature essay]]
It must be different through your eyes
Because you look at me like it's the first time
That you've ever seen my face

As I said before when explaining "you haven;t gone away"; and the reference to seeing my face.. in the sense that being a new acquaintance, he wouldn't know of your faults and your quirks, and therefore not know of a reason why not to love you and to "be your friend". But, he knows us better than we know ourselves, and yet he is as open and as willing to love us as he ever was, and ever will be.

I'm preoccupied with a crowded mind
I get off track like a train rolling back to the future
Never too sure who'll be here when I come back around
But I'm finding out
How many times have you been in a conversation or talking with someone, when you lose touch with the present and get lost in your head without realising? Then ask the person to "repeat the last bit"? Don't you feel bad you didn't give them your full attention when they deserved it and apologise for it? Now imagine, God deserves our time and our focus a bazillion times more than any human. So can you imagine how much ruder it is when directed at him? That whilst praying for example, we go off track and lose ourselves in thoughts and problems and whatnot. These things alienate us from those around us, hence "never too sure who'll be here when I come back around". Alienation by offence or even because a relationship is basically built on communication, so when you lose that or its effectiveness drops considerably, the friendship is going to weaken or disintegrate. "But I'm finding out.. that it must be different through Your eyes"... But it's different with Jesus. When we come back around after ignoring our Sovereign King, he isn't going to send us to the dungeons for offending him or chopping our heads off for disrespecting Him. It's different with Him. He's as open and as loving as he always was, and always will be.

So there you have it. A nice long blog that should last you a while. (: And it took me a long time too :P

Much love x